as a kid i always thought gotham was in michigan because i thought it was a midwestern city like chicago, and there was always shit going down at the pier or in abandoned factories and if michigan has anything it’s a lot of piers and abandoned factories. anyway turns out it’s probably in jersey.
other good reasons for gotham to be in michigan:
- one of the most heavily forested states in the country with 20 million acres of forests oh my god poison ivy would be so powerful the second she got outside city limits fuck
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there’s 20 million acres of this and she’s got plant powers no wonder they want her on lockdown
- there are more than 6,000 shipwrecks in the great lakes how many supervillain origin stories is that good for
- there’s a whole class of freighter just for the great lakes
- “63 commercial ports handled 173 million tons of cargo in 2006″ aka holy shit that is a lot of opportunities for boatcrimes
- mr freeze has a pretty tragic origin story but if you had to put up with michigan winters and then some motherfucker showed up freezing the town outside of freezing season you would have no mercy
- MOTHERFUCKER I JUST PUT MY SNOWBLOWER IN STORAGE DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW
- imagine batman giving someone directions by pointing to his hand
- “we believe killer croc is somewhere around here” he says pointing to the tip of his thumb
- good fucking luck finding stats on abandoned buildings in michigan but holy shit are there a lot of them, no wonder they’re always having fights in abandoned factories and empty warehouses
- “kitty why are you including that map of the railroads like it’s relevant” because when you’re trying to sleep and you hear a train in the distance it’s fucking spooky okay
- i have no evidence that traincrime is an issue for batman i’m just saying the ambiance is there
- michigan has plenty of abandoned theme parks for the joker to hijack
- our most famous abandoned theme park is dinosaur themed so I GUESS WE KNOW WHERE HE GOT THE T-REX
- we have a special kind of ice cream called superman ice cream and i think bruce would be really bitter about it and that’s hilarious
- there are nine different species of bat in michigan and they have all lived in my kitchen at some point
- michigan is full of mines both abandoned and active and bats love them
- put an abandoned train station next to and abandoned mine and you have a totally plausible CRIMEZONE
- and none of this is getting into the most compelling evidence
- put a city in michigan and watch how fast no one gives a fuck
- gotham, MI needs batman because who the fuck else is going to help
- batman please save us from the cops and the state government
