Kitty Unpretty

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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Someone else was here. He could hear their boots in the underbrush, quiet as they were. His ears flicked. The fleeing pilgrim, back again? He turned his head at just the right moment to catch her eyes.

Mostly hidden behind a tree in the shadows of the leaves, she looked like one of the abandoned changelings of the Faewild Forest. She had all the tells of a child once touched but not claimed, reflective pupils and pointed ears and streaks of grass-green in her hair. For those who turned, the final effect was ethereal. Half-done, they looked like dolls abandoned in the dirt, broken and mossy.

This one was grown, though. As grown as any human ever was. What had made her leave the forest, where she could have lived on ageless and waiting?

“Hello,” he said, and her eyes widened.

“You speak Astia?” she asked. Her voice was small and coarse.

“Most Taurils do,” he said.

Her thick brows furrowed. “No they don’t.”

“I think I’d know better than you do,” he said, and she pressed her lips together. “Have you met many Taurils?”

“They keep trying to kill me,” she said. “I’ve never heard one talk.” Her eyes drifted lower, still high above her head. “Or wear clothes,” she said. “Armor, but not clothes.”

“I’m old,” he said, and her eyes narrowed as she tried to connect the two statements. “Your horse must be very fast,” he added, since few Taurils ‘tried’ to kill rather than simply succeeding.

She grinned, pearl-white teeth glinting like knives. “My sword is very sharp,” she corrected.

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Source: kittyunpretty.com
Pinned Post original fiction astielle astielleblogging
samglyph
unpretty

An image of a box of Nature's Bounty Brain HP, which claims it will improve your reaction time for next-level gaming. They are watermelon-flavored jellybean multivitamins that come in packets. They are hot pink and there's a hot pink controller on the box.
Review from Zac Mitchell for five stars says "Gaming Jelly Beans are the new 3 Red Bull’s. CRACKED OUT OF MY JORTS! Dropped a 27 bomb while fighting with my ex wife about child support, next game 23 bomb, absolutely bonkers." 97 people found this helpful. Review from BeesMama for a verified purchase for five stars says, "Bought these for my bf (a semi-pro gamer) and his gaming buddies have told him, "you have been weaponized" because he is getting 2X the kills vs. his average play prior. He also likes to announce, "I'm on the BEANS boys!" when he logs on now lol. Overall,, great and delicious item. Supplements w/ benefits, for the win!!!" 29 people found this helpful.
unpretty

assuming i could post this without commentary for humor purposes was a mistake because eventually there are going to be more notes on this saying they unironically want to spend $40 on placebo jellybeans than there are on my post about how you should call your senator because supplements should have to prove to the FDA that they aren't full of poison

unpretty

#op is correct however the ingredients in here ARE fda approved#at least the ones that are listed have all had trials proving safety and effectiveness tho I’m pretty sure this product is just a funny#haha marketing scheme and meant to be used as a replacement to like. a five hour energy#instead of being like. an actual supplement#I doubt it really helps anything long term. but it literally is just a#theanine supplement.#which has had safety trials (via @samglyph)

the ingredients have been tested, but because of US law the product itself has not been tested to confirm that it contains what it says it does. right now they don’t get tested unless people complain that it hurt them. so these could, legally, just be regular jellybeans claiming to be supplements.

consumerlab’s testing suggests that gummy and other candy vitamins are more likely to not contain the listed amounts of ingredients, even if they are less likely than an herbal capsule to be secretly full of ground up beans and rice

tl;dr the ingredients list on supplements mean literally nothing unless they also have a USP Certification badge, which is a private third party company that does testing

original
maculategiraffe
aximili

honestly no matter how faithfully you adapt les miserables to stage or screen, nothing can really quite replicate the effect of hugo being like “so valjean got to this convent…. btw, just briefly, i don’t normally do this but bc it’s relevant, im gonna take 45 pages to tell u the history of the convent, all the significant nuns & their daily routines, & this is my opinion of organised religion in general - it fucking blows! - do you believe in god btw? we actually are god. philosophy and religion are both right. actually, convents are quite noble sometimes when u think about it. idk, anyway, as i was saying valjean got there” and u know he’s gonna do t again on some other topic in like 6 pages time

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maculategiraffe
bearfeathers

i was shopping at cvs today and all of a sudden the cashier comes over the intercom and goes, "uh, can i get a supervisor to the front? donna or liam, because ofβ€”like, it's..." and there's this super long pause, no music or anything, just silence. and then he comes back on and says very quickly, "donna please come to the front i made something catch fire." and i just

image
reblog queue continuum