Astielle by Kitty UnprettyALT

A half-feral hero, a monster king, a bastard prince, and an open world. Bound by destiny, they save or slay one another, an endless cycle of death and rebirth. When the Moonlight Monster rises, the Starlight Hero is Astielle’s only hope. Unfortunately, she’s a little busy with her rock collection.

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Astielle is a free webnovel about the Starlight Hero (Minnow), her nemesis the Moonlight Monster (King Karzarul), and his nemesis the Sunlight Heir (Prince Leonas). It is an endless reincarnation cycle enemies-to-lovers speedrun and slow burn about trying to avoid the main quest by doing every possible sidequest instead. It’s about trying to get your friend away from his shitty family and into your polycule instead. It is over 200k words, and almost 40k of them are a flashback to completely different characters thousands of years before the main story. A lot of readers tell me it is very funny, or that it made them cry. It was supposed to be PWP. It is a hot fucking mess in progress.

“You shouldn’t let her eat rocks,” Ari said.

“If she wants to eat a rock,” Leonas said, “there is nothing on this or any other plane of existence that I can do to stop her from eating the fucking rock.”

“I spit it back out,” Minnow said. She was regretting ever telling him about the rock. “Can we move on, please? I would like to move on.”

Astielle features:

Farming | Fishing | Cooking | Fast-travel | Monster-fucking | Murder | Extremely round pigs | Extremely small chickens | A mystery-solving teen | Traveling bards | Gratuitous face-fucking | The homeowner’s association | Magical dreams | Zombies | Nihilism as a coping mechanism for undiagnosed depression | Politics | Using a sword as an all-purpose adventuring tool | Tax evasion | At least one monster gangbang | Spider’s Gorge | Pirates | Unreliable narrators | Incorrect historical records | The looming specter of religious nationalism | Churros

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phantomarine
feathernotes

'i want a story that has x in it, but mainstream media doesn't have it'
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'I wish that i could have this niche thing in stories'

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'there's too many x things in shows now, i wish there was something different'

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rare-basement
teaboot

Constant inner monologue: Don't be annoying, don't be annoying, don't be annoying, don't say anything, you don't have to talk, there's nothing to talk about, seriously just sit in the silence, enjoy the silence, find peace in the silence, for the love of God just shut up

My mouth, moving by itself: A bug flew into my tits on the way to work today. Hey that guy looks like if Bill Nye's shorter, angrier brother bought a taco truck. What's your third favourite breakfast food

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